Viewing all items in Resource Category: St James The Least of All
The elderly Anglo-Catholic vicar, Eustace, continues his correspondence to Darren, his nephew, a low-church curate recently ordained…
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren I have been slightly surprised that in your ministry so far, you have never been asked to give an after-dinner speech. Now you have delivered your first one, I can understand why. Speeches after any dinner come at the point where stomachs are dealing with...On giving the after-dinner speech
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren It is a great shame that your church doesn’t have chandeliers – although in your low-ceilinged converted cinema, any chandelier more than a few feet tall would also be embedded in your floor carpeting. But I find that there is nothing like watching the standard...On the challenge of hitting 11 o’clock precisely….
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren After all these years, who would have believed it: to have my own book printed! I must admit, I had imagined a leather-bound volume with gold leaf lettering on the spine – perhaps even titled ‘Volume One’, implying future delights when further work would appear....On publishing my book
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren Your church certainly seems to have taken to the idea of green electricity with a vengeance. To have covered the whole of your roof with solar panels was a brave move, and it makes quite a sight – especially when the sun catches them, dazzling...On how to save electricity in church
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren Your offer to bring in your team of church members, in order to make a house call on every home in our parish, was most generous. I do understand why you would need us to accommodate your team of 25 visitors, and then hold a...On the best way to visit the homes in our parish
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren I was sorry to hear that your church was broken into last week. Since your sound system rivals that of any concert hall and your projection equipment would put most cinemas to shame, it is not surprising that is what they had their sights on....On why our church is safe from vandals
- The Rectory St James the Leas My dear Nephew Darren This has been an unusual month: we have moved from hysterical excitement to deep disappointment within the space of days. For many years, our vestry has displayed an oil painting generously donated by the Dowager Duchess of Stansby – given to us, I suspect, because...Beware all donations!
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren A Spring parish picnic is always a good idea – although you must bear some details in mind. First, whatever date you choose will turn out be the wettest of the year. English picnics are invariably eaten under umbrellas while wearing Wellingtons and the sort...On the perils of the church picnic
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren Consider yourself fortunate that your churchyard consists of no more than a small, paved area, and that keeping it tidy requires ten minutes of picking up discarded takeaway boxes on Sunday morning. Our four acres of grass and randomly placed gravestones absorbs a large portion...On how maintaining the churchyard can lead to turf wars
- The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren It seemed such an innocent suggestion. A local farmer announced he wanted to arrange a Spring music festival. I could already hear Mozart string quartets being played in our Lady Chapel, and arias from Donizetti operas being sung al frescoin the Glebe field, while we...On how to sabotage a music festival
- The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren I am glad you enjoyed your conference, but please do not be deluded into thinking that conferences are there to teach you anything. Conferences exist to provide another entry on your CV, to give you time off while flattering yourself that you are...On how to survive a residential conference
- The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren Your annual accounts – all 146 pages, bound in their plastic covers and laid out in faultless detail – really are most impressive. I was rather envious to note you have a clergy ‘discretionary fund’; if I were to be given such a...On parish accounts, teapots and Labrador retrievers