Viewing all items in Resource Category: St James The Least of All

The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren I am sorry I was not alive during that wonderful four-year period when Oliver Cromwell abolished Christmas.  Just think!  No Christmas parties, no carol services, no cards to send and no frantic last-minute shopping. That man was a hero. Planning for Christmas at...

The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren One of the rather dubious pleasures of being rector here is to dine twice a year with Lord and Lady Shuttlingsloe. I was summoned to go along yesterday evening. As usual, I was greeted by the footman and led into the entrance hall,...

The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren Our Lord said that we will always have some poor with us; were He to have been speaking to the clergy that day, I suspect He may well have said that we will always have some awkward parishioners with us. My cross at...

The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren Your withering comments, saying that our choir robes, were ‘surplice’ to requirements did not go down well at last week’s practice. I will concede that Mr Baddeley’s robes smell somewhat kippered and are laced with burns – but you can expect little less...

The Rectory St. James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren Since your church is a former cinema, I suspect that were the floor to be removed, cigarette ash, sweet wrappings and tickets for the last Charlie Chaplin film would be revealed. Our marble flooring in the chancel was raised last week to try...

The Rectory St. James the Least My dear Nephew Darren The estimate for re-hanging the bells in our church tower came as a great shock. The church council discussed fund-raising at length. Someone suggested selling part of the Rectory garden for building, another for getting 200 parishioners to loan £1,000 each, interest-free.  Then Mrs Ffrench...

The Rectory St James the Least   My dear Nephew Darren Never, ever feel aggrieved that your summer strawberry tea has to be held in the church hall rather than on a lawn, since there is hardly a single blade of grass to be found in your entire parish. You have no idea of the...

The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren So, your bishop is dropping hints that you should begin to consider a move to having your own parish – ‘not forever in green pastures’ comes to mind. Do not be too hasty to leave; remember that a curate can do no wrong, but a...

The Rectory St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren My generous offer to take last week’s marriage service for you in your church, so that you could attend your weekend plumbing course, proved most unwise.  You may now be qualified to unblock church hall kitchen sinks, but I will not be taking...

The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren So, your vicar has appointed you to be the magazine editor; I wonder what you have done to offend him.  I appointed our magazine editor 20 years ago, after her dog dug up my rose bed. Sadly, she seems unaware that I gave it to...

The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren We have just returned from our annual parish three-day silent retreat at St Epiphanius’ Priory.  We had the usual attendees: those husbands who see it as an opportunity to stop their wives talking, however briefly; those wives who can keep their husbands temporarily from the...

The Rectory St James the Least My dear Nephew Darren Your New Year resolution of getting up at 4am and devoting the first four hours every day to prayer and meditation does you credit – although I am not entirely certain you will get past the first week. I, too, make an annual resolution; this...